Mamahood

The sum of parenthood in concept:

Parenthood is like that Super Mario Brothers video game. Where there’s a big boss that you have to face at the end of every level, and the challenge gets more complex as you go. You get the idea: defeat a big boss, go up another level. And so on.

Then at some point, you begin to ask yourself “Wait, HOW MANY LEVELS does this thing even have?!?”

-The musings of a newborn parent at 4 AM in the morning

Life has definitely become a little more interesting since the last time I wrote a blog post! I’m a new mom to a sweet little girl and she is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I have been away from my canvas and paint materials for the past year, and chose to focus all my efforts on creating this little masterpiece. I spent the majority of my pregnancy working through the feelings of transition and change, realizing that I will no longer merely exist solely for myself, but that I am “housing” another human. And this human will always be connected to me in all my life, and I will protect and love her for the rest of my days. I’ve had months to reckon with this notion that I will always be someone’s mother moving forward. And it scared and overwhelmed me with love.

The postpartum journey has been rough on my little family. It’s hard to maneuver around the early days of parenthood, especially after a major surgery. I’ve come to appreciate the family and friends that have offered their support, both emotional and physical. The most challenging step for me at this time is navigating the path towards recalibrating my career and journey as a new mom with two small businesses under my wing. I don’t know how, but I think all new moms somehow discover their own way back to work-life balance. It’s never going to be perfect, but it will be enough.

In the meantime, I’ve had so many new creative ideas for artwork, new products, and more just spinning around and around in my mind with nowhere to go in the past few months. Each time I’ve taken walks with my little one, I enjoy looking at the world with her perspective in mind–the beginner’s mind. And it truly helps in reshaping what I think I already know, and seeing it from a new light. I admire her looking and discovering how to engage with her toys, her environment, and it gives me such a sense of humility to realize that we all started out this way, too. It must be clear at this point that she is my new inspiration.

I debated how and when to come back to my art, and I think the time is now. I feel ready to revisit my sturdy painting easel and reconnect. I look forward to designing new things in my art room while my husband and I take turns caring for our baby. And I feel rejuvenated and even more determined to get my art business going to show my girl what a creative mind, grit & dedication can do.

Advertisement