Flows like Water

I’ve been doing a lot more watercolor paintings. I must admit, it is pretty sweet. I have been learning to work with the “permanence” of the material and use it to my advantage. Β It’s been a lot more freeing to be able to work with watercolor, something I did not expect. With acrylic, I’ve been happy to keep moving the paint around to my liking. There’s something to be learned from the restricted nature of watercolor. Like I almost have to make do with what else I’ve got–how can I layer this color, make a different shape on top of this paint, make this painting tell a story/convey an emotion with as little movement as I can?

 

 

 

I’ve also been reading up on color theory and how colors influence people’s moods, etc. There’s research out there showing both support and also inconclusive results at this time, but more likely than not, people are subconsciously affected by the colors they see or experience and we just don’t have a good metric for quantifying it at present. Whatever. This is all subjective anyway. I know how yellow makes me feel, and I agree that it is the color of my inner spirit–vibrant, energetic, and optimistic. Although I don’t really feel like that right now, I continue to hold this color as the visible representation of my essence. But you gotta admit, there’s something pretty drop-dead-gorgeous and poetic about those green and black watercolor painting samples, right?

I was inspired to test my watercolor skills further and decided to make some fun pieces to give others. Here’s a watercolor painting on a birthday card I recently made! πŸ˜€

 

For now, I think I’ll keep exploring where this watercolor adventure takes me. One important thing I’ve learned this year so far is that I must do the things that make me feel good, purposeful, important, and whole. If it isn’t any of those things, it has no place in my home. So, like water, I will keep flowing and go where it takes me. I’m up for my next adventure. πŸ™‚

 

 

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Worth

Hello world! I know, I’ve been slow with my updates. July has been a busy month of work training and transitions for me. Hope you didn’t miss me too much! πŸ™‚

I have a confession to make–I’ve been painting a bit day by day, that is…at least as much as I can squeeze in here and there. Lately I’ve had to battle just finding the time and energy to fit everything into my schedule. It’s been tough to carve out regular play time and painting for me when all I can think about is my warm, cuddly bed. >.< You may be wondering why I would have to “make a confession” about painting. Well, it’s because sometimes, I create things that I don’t necessarily end up admiring or satisfied with. It’s a bad, bad feeling that is unsettling to me. And I am hesitant to say that this is something that has happened lately.

In Search Of

You may or may not recall that I had a painting titled “In Search of” from way back in 2015. Well. The story behind that painting was not the best. This was back in the day when I painted alongside some friends at an old art studio. One of them was going through some tough times and was not doing particularly well at the time. There I was, minding my own biz, when all of a sudden, this person became frustrated as they saw my work and picked up a brush and proceeded to make big, red paint marks across my work. “There!” they said, “Don’t hold back! Isn’t that so much better?” and walked away like they did me a favor.

I was aghast. I didn’t move. I couldn’t move..? I looked up at my canvas and didn’t know what just happened. I found myself breathing in and out louder and more effortful. I looked at my other friend and they looked completely horrified. And I don’t remember the exact details of what happened after this, perhaps I just blacked out or don’t want to remember. But at some point I ran out to my car with my phone in hand and clutched it tightly. In a panic, I searched through phone numbers of dear friends far, far from me and proceeded to call and hope for someone to answer at 10PM on a week night. Two or three unanswered phone calls down the list, and I finally found someone who picked up. I told them what happened. How silly it was that I was crying about something that sounded pretty dumb (after all, I was crying about someone painting over my painting?) but felt completely real and painful. I don’t have many people I consider close friends, but the ones I do have guarded with my life. I was reassured by my dear friend that it was okay to feel this way. I went back in to the studio to work on my painting. Like nothing happened–they didn’t think they did anything wrong and didn’t believe they should apologize at the time (but later did). I cleared up the awful marks and painted over them with big, pink and blue swirls and made dark black strokes to distract from the other section of the painting that was affected.

I have always hated this painting.

I don’t have a lot of paintings that I keep with me that I end up loathing. But this one is particularly pisses me right off whenever I look at it. To me, it is a reminder of very difficult times. It takes me back to feeling lost, confused about who I am in this world, my worth, my goals, and what the future holds for me. When I say that most of my original paintings are not for sale–it is because they still hold such strong emotions that I have felt in the past, and I am not yet willing to let them all go. Yes, I’m not afraid to share that I’ve held onto a lot of sadness, pain, and loneliness. At some point I thought that it was just a part of me since it kept happening in sequential fashion without haste. I like to think of myself as a hopeless optimist and a future-oriented person, but I remember what I have gone through and feel that it will always hold me captive at times. Writing about this opens up some old wounds, but I will be okay in time.

And so I finally decided, heck, it would be a waste to just get rid of this painting. So I recently decided to finally face the beast and paint over it. I stopped short of succeeding in ameliorating the pain. I ended up with this.

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I still don’t know how I feel about it. And I don’t know why I just recently decided to take this new project on. Perhaps I haven’t really felt all too well about myself these days; Β that painting stared and stared at me at my living room floor, and became a reminder of something I knew all too well. When I see this new artwork, I feel like I might not have succeeded in making it all better. Instead, I just feel like I tried to hide it from the world and made it worse. To me, it now looks like what it feels like to YELL maddeningly in colors. I don’t know if I will be displaying this piece…ever. I guess I still hate it. Other people who have seen it disagree.

 

but then again, these are people I love.

-D

 

Buurp

Just finished the Rick & Morty art commission from my wonderful friend Nery! It was such a fun project and I was surprised how into it I was. I guess it’s a good breath of fresh air from the usual stuff I paint, and it is structured enough that I have a goal/concept in mind. I also had a lot of help from his selected music playlist that I requested to guide my work. Man, I gotta say I learn so much about people from the things they enjoy. I know music (and food) bring people together, so it’s no wonder these are the first things I ask about when I first meet someone.

Now, some details about this recent work. I wanted to do a sci-fi collaboration between Doctor Who and Rick & Morty, so I decided to focus on some of the distinct features of each show. Early on, I knew I needed to have the color green in there to symbolize the pervasive use of this color in the time travel portals that pop out in the Rick & Morty show. From there I decided that I wanted to focus on something related to time-traveling, so I decided to create some sort of portal. In Series 5 of the new Doctor Who series (starring Matt Smith), they introduced the idea of a “crack in the universe” that pervades thru space and time. I really liked the Eleventh doctor so I decided to just go for it. Nery suggested a rendition of the “Starry Night” by Van Gogh, and I took the idea further by creating a scene that signified the regeneration of a time Lord to a new body, all taking place on an otherwise starry, starry night and witnessed by (tiny) Rick & Morty from the crack in the universe. πŸ˜›

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Everyone else–I’m now taking new art commissions! Send me a message or email on my website. β€οΈπŸ‘©πŸ»β€πŸŽ¨

I get all of my art supplies conveniently via Amazon. Having all of my art supply and marketing needs delivered right to my front door saves me a lot of time from having to go to multiple places after a full day of work. With capabilities to compare costs of similar items from different brands of acrylic paint, reading customer reviews on paintbrushes, and ratings on high quality painting easels, Amazon definitely makes it easier for me to make my work-life balance possible. If you are an aspiring artist, I highly recommend Amazon.com for all your art supply needs for the best deals!

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Sci-chedelic!

Currently working on a sci-fi commission painting and it is a mind trip. I love the color palette for this piece–it’s so fun! And who knew making paintings about outer space came so naturally to me? πŸ‘½πŸš€

Still currently a work in progress, so I’ll be updating here again when I can. It’ll be changing quite a bit until I finalize it so keep your eyes peeled. πŸ‘€ July is almost here! Don’t forget to subscribe to my mailing list to get the latest updates! 

 

Summertime Fun

Hi everyone! This summer is currently off to a great start! I’m very elated about some recent good news and progress in my life–new condo, new job, and new art store business. I’m trying to learn from previous mistakes that have caused me much heartache. And so, being older and wiser (now being 30 and all), I’ve set the intention that this year will be about growth, confidence, and wisdom.

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Found this quote online and it really resonates with me right now. I think that as I move on with my career and life, this becomes more apparent in my daily interactions with others. Not to say that I don’t care about what others have to say, however, I do find that I am becoming more sure of myself and it feels great to say that aloud. I have moments of doubt, but they are not anywhere close to what it used to be. I can definitely say that there are some things that I know, and some that I don’t know; and that’s ok with me. πŸ™‚

Like for instance, this whole art store business and marketing! Who knew I would be into this stuff? This is something I never planned on, but I must say, I am having lots of creative fun with it. From creating my website from scratch, learning how to work with inventory, packaging, shipping, branding, learning about automations, analytics reports, marketing my goods (LOL :P, sorry can’t help it–I’m still 12 at heart), and figuring out how ads work–is SO MUCH FUN!!! Best of all, from this experience I’ve been able to reconnect with old friends and have been asked to work on some commissioned projects. I am definitely excited to share those projects with you all in the upcoming few days! A lot is happening all at once, but this is nothing new in my world. I live for moments like these, and I’m just glad that the chaos is a creative and positive one. ❀

Did I mention I became a homeowner amidst all this? @.@

LOL!

Here are some photos from my new condo in downtown Sacramento:

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Indeed, on to the next chapter. πŸ™‚ Be well!